ATTRACTION

We commonly tend to think of 'sexual attraction' as essentially oriented towards directly sexual activity. It seems to be simply a way for people to work out who to marry, and within that to be part of the couple's intimate life. But the attraction between the sexes has a second, fundamental purpose.

When women present themselves in a way they hope is attractive to men, what are they aiming for? Is it to be beautiful? Or sexy? Or something in between?

What do people mean when they say 'sexy'? In some ways it is obvious and in other ways it's not. Here are some different angles on the question of sexiness.

In popular culture the term 'friend zone' is commonly used to refer to a situation in which there is a mismatch in romantic interest between a man and a woman.

The word 'sexy' gets used fairly loosely these days. What does it really mean? Does it mean the same thing as 'sexual'?

The pleasures of sexual attraction can lead us to think: if some is good, wouldn't more be better? We might incline to think: can there really be such a thing as 'too sexy'?

There is a popular notion that women play 'hard to get' and men enjoy the challenge of chasing a hard-to-win beauty. But how much of it really goes on? Do many women really act in this way?

This article sets the scene for what "The Attraction Project" is all about. It is longer than the usual article, and is like an extension to the "About" page. It gives an overview of the kinds of things that will be developed further as we go along.

There is a common idea that romance and sex should be something spontaneous. It seems somehow unromantic to plan for feelings. How do you know how you'll feel next Friday? But why can't it all be spontaneous?

How important is attraction? How do you find the right balance between attributing too much importance to it or too little? We look at these questions in the context of married couples.